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I have recently joined Facebook and found myself completely caught up in all its technologically glamourous wiles. In the span of two days, I have hungrily hunted down every single person I've ever said even "hello" to, and, as a result, I have nineteen friends. This is because I am a) not popular, b) have no real friends to speak of, and c) I never remember people's names. In this system, having no clue what letter someone's name even starts with -- and I could be wrong here -- works to the detriment of finding them.
On the other hand, several people have added me that I could swear I don't know. I don't recognize their names, their faces, or even their friends. But somehow they know me. And they are deeply committed to seeing how I'm doing. I think we're all being caught up in the idea of diligently finding someone we haven't spoken to in sixteen years to ask them, first and foremost, how they are doing at this very moment. We really didn't care before Facebook, by the way. But, I mean, since we're here, we might as well, right? They proceed to tell us they are hungry. After sixteen years, two hours and forty-five minutes since we last hit the elementary sandbox, this is essential, ground-breaking news.
I go on happily with my life and I don't talk to this person ever again. You marvel at the poignancy of the two lines you've exchanged and shake your head in wonder at how uncanny it is, the phenomenon of change and improvement, progression and maturity. He used to eat crayons, you say. And now he wants to eat dinner. Unbelievable. I'm so glad I did this.
And that's pretty much all the contact you have, save for the odd time that Facebook notifies you that he's changed his Favourite Movies list.
Anyway, I fly to San Francisco tomorrow and I can't sleep. Why? Because every single time something urgent like a plane taking off without me comes in contact with something influential like my passport being processed in time, the plane leaves earlier and my passport is ready later. It's a science called "Getting Screwed Over". Works every time. So I've gotten several people to pray for this matter. It's faith against fact. The reason why I'm so late in getting my application in is because I didn't know I needed to bring my birth certificate to apply for it, so I had to order a new one. (By the way, in the Canadian system, a birth certificate serves absolutely no purpose, so they make it more important by forcing you to have that one document in order to get a passport. It's like a special day to make birth certificates feel better about their frivolous existence.) The birth certificate, which was supposed to come in 15 days came in two. This makes me feel that maybe something's working on my side for this: A miracle in the laboratory, so to speak.
Shoot one up for me if you have a chance. I'm curious to see how tomorrow unfolds, seeing that my flight is at 1 pm and I have to get there at 10 am (and the passport office opens at 8).
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