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I don't know why some people say "Sorry... inside joke" when you and that person are the only ones there. Sometimes I wonder if maybe they said something that made no sense whatsoever and "sorry, inside joke" is a way of getting off the hook without having to explain anything.
Actually, I kind of like it. It's basically the get-out-of-jail-free card in any conversation. Very useful on the rare occasions you need to take something back. "I used to wet my bed every night until I was 18. (...) Uh.. inside joke."
So I have been away for a while. There's nothing like daring people not to come anymore with rampant inactivity. The truth is I've tried several times to write something but I feel like a car trying to merge back into a moving lane. And the problem is you can't compose a post of "..." -- otherwise, apparently, I would have had a lot to say.
I suppose the first news item to cap off this year is that I am now fatter than I have ever been in my life. I suppose several of you already saw this coming. Several people, most of them Chinese and the age of my parents, chose to tell me, before even a "hello", that I've become "really fat". This may be true. What I find odd is that they're fatter now, too -- but somehow I'm not allowed to point this out with the same shock and inexplicable sense of purpose.
Nevertheless, I have decided to take charge of the situation by training intensively for the next five days, swinging vigilantly on the Wii game system that my sister and brother-in-law brought over from Vancouver this Christmas. My forearms are sore, but I keep playing for hours for the sake of my health.
As well as exercising my mind, I have taken to reading Time magazine. It was five dollars. I was never able to get from the front to the back of this publication without being inescapably interested in picking my nose. Or seeing how much saliva I can dribble. But let me tell you, the amount of firepower this magazine gives me at wine and cheese parties or post-concert receptions is staggering.
For instance, when someone says, "Nice job on the Beethoven" I could easily segue the discussion towards the destruction of marine wildlife through today's horrific fishing practices, such as the drag net, which strips and wastes the ocean floor of millions of fish, nutrients and other types of seafood. Of course, I'll have to watch that I don't say "seafood". When millions of organisms are dying for the purpose of our eating them, saying "seafood is going extinct" is indicative of where your minds at. And I suppose boiling all organisms living in a large ecosystem down to a category of food is both crass and shellfish selfish.
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