My friend Louis-Philippe came over last night and made us dinner. I just wrote that last sentence seven times. I was trying to find the most heterosexual way to say it. Like, we meet up and we cook dinner every once in a while. There are no candles involved. Anyway, Louis cooked last night and it was some of the craziest curry I've ever had. It was literally insane. Red Thai curry with lamb -- amazing. Afterwards, Louis brought over an N64 Emulator and we spent the rest of the night playing Super Mario Kart like it was 1998.
There'll be a performance of Josef Suk's Piano Quartet next week, Wednesday, November 3rd. It's a relatively obscure piece, though its charm makes me wonder why. If you're interested, it's a noon concert in the Mannes Concert Hall.
Fifty Cent and Vitamin Water have teamed up to give us Formula 50. Every now and then, things happen in marketing and you end up asking yourself, "Now, why didn't I think of that?" Which, eventually, is followed by, "Oh right, because my natural inclination is not to spend millions of dollars on a deflated idea founded on the flimsiest of associations."
(Clears throat.) Observe their justification: "50 cent's music is rooted in his real life experiences and it resonates with people because they relate to his story. In a similar way, consumers across the country have connected with Vitaminwater's 13 different varieties each offering a unique flavor and function to meet their specific needs throughout the day."
(??) I don't know about you, but I totally see what they're getting at. The News Archive | Email
As far as my cello performances are concerned, those in the area may be interested to know of an upcoming concert this Saturday at 7 pm in Flushing, New York. I'm using the term "interested to know" the same way one might be "interested to know" that I have sparse underarm hair. You can email for more information.
How they ended up here yesterday: "elementary student deoderant samples" on Google.
A lot of people write into the site in disbelief. The latest complaint says that no one actually buys my CD and I'm just making up names to boost sales. This is totally untrue. Anyway, I'd like to thank Jessica Alba for buying a CD, as well as the great chicken carbonara she made me last night; Jessica, if you're reading, I'm sorry things couldn't work out between us because of my busy schedule. The News Archive | Email
A salute to Tiffany Cheng from California who's the second person this month to buy a CD. Judging by her timely purchase, I'd say she is not only hot, but also way too good for me. Not only do female online buyers get a CD for $11 USD, they also get to reject me without: a) any effort, b) my hitting on them, and c) any time wasted because we all know that would happen in real life anyway. Incidentally, in real life, she wouldn't be buying my CD either. So I take what I can get. (Which is eleven dollars.)
There was no internet at work today. What horrors of boredom await you when, for five hours, all there is to do is guage the speed at which your fingernails grow. Someone walked by my cubicle whistling and I wanted to scream at him, yelling, "What have you got to whistle and be happy about?! The internet is down! Your world and mine, they crumble before us." The News Archive | Email
For the past month, someone has been building something right outside our apartment. My roommate and I don't know what they're building, but it definitely involves jackhammers. The thing is they start at seven in the morning because that's the time it's most annoying. I can sleep through them after a while but, inevitably, once I do, I also sleep through my alarm. And, so, I missed work today.
Arm-wrestling is crazy popular here at adrianfung.com. Someone came by from Lincoln, Nebraska, under the query, "sexy armwrestling". Which, if you ask me, says a lot about the city. And, as they are directed here, nothing about my site.
It's a busy day at the office. I was part of an important process called the "press release". My part in the matter was licking 118 envelopes. I realize that if you lick one envelope, you don't taste anything; however, after about sixty, they start to taste like wildly infected toe. Or what I'd imagine to be wildly infected toe. Around the eighty envelope mark, I was traversing purple landscapes by the means of spirited, hallucinated trance. It came to my attention that, where some substance abusers sniff glue to get high, I skipped that step altogether and just ate it.
In a classic 8W denouement, my boss came by as I was on the last two and exclaimed, "You licked all those??" She proceeded to tell me that I didn't need to seal any of the envelopes but "Thanks anyway."
A salute to Ivan from Illinois who has bought a CD. I'm quite certain from your sound decision-making that you are not only extremely intelligent but nice, popular, and a hit with the ladies. What a deal, ladies and gentlemen: Acknowledgement on the site and empty compliments await you, all for one easy payment of 11 dollars!
Snide remarks have come from three of my friends, all saying such jealous things like, "So how many have you sold now? 15?" It's good to have friends that believe so strongly in my talent and product. For their information, I have sold three am not counting.
I almost updated Irrefragable three times this week, but each time I decided to be diligent and practise. Don't blame me, blame the cello.
You should all try to write News of the Days. Committing yourself to writing something on a regular basis keeps your wits moving and your brain nimble. When you sit down and the only thing that stands out in your weekend was yesterday's omelette, you begin to see how exciting this can be for others.
I'm being bitten by some bug that lives in my bedroom. The bug is such a punk. Like, I'm okay with both of us co-existing in the room. I'm a pretty nice guy when it comes down to moral issues like these. But, not only is the bug ingrateful, it is biting me several times every night. The bites swell up, itch like crazy, and, in a decisive event where the bug defines how much of a jerk it's willing to be, last night, it bit my face. I now look like I have a zit, but it's worse because it's itchy, swollen, and about the size of your Backspace button.
I should clear some confusion: I am allowed to blog, email, and surf the Web while I'm working in the office and there's nothing to do. I just wanted to clarify that, so kids don't think I'm leading an immoral life of wage pilfering. One of my job requirements is to sit here (I'm serious). Students come and ask questions and I, being severely enlightened, am to answer them. So, when there's nothing to do, my boss still wants me to sit there. I'm all for it because there's free internet involved, and, frankly, it looks great on your resume: "Special accomplishments in the past three months: Over 120 hours of paid sitting."
I start my German class tomorrow. "Hi, I'm Adrian. Yes, I'm ugly, but wait til you hear me talk."
The News Archive | Email