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I’m sorry I haven’t updated in a while. My enjoyable summer has passed by quickly and I didn’t realize this site was garnering any attention. When I checked my email a few weeks back, I realized many of you must have had less eventful summers than I. Charming individuals have emailed me sharing their pet stories, explaining why a pickle can still be called a pickle, and why Russell Wong isn’t really that hot (something to do with a squirrel and a roller coaster – don’t ask).
One particular email caught my attention because of its opprobrious subject title. “WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!” Which was followed by an acidic reproach for even considering eating chicken and being so “smugly flippant” with the word veal. He, or she, concluded that eating something because it’s stupid is not a valid excuse.
I love emails like that. But let’s not get carried away. You don’t need to cuss. Did I eat YOUR chicken?
But here’s a new feature. “Email of the Week.”
This one came from a fellow Hotmail address last night. I changed the name for the sake of her embarassment.
hello, 8W. i got your site from a friend of mine who said your a rapper. you don’t sound like a raper to me. she also told me you’re not even black.
you use such large words i don’t even understand. you’re pretty funny. update more often. it’s been a while!
stephanie
by the way, whats your real name?”
I don’t sound like a raper. I think my mom would be pleased to hear that.
Stephanie, rappers aren’t necessarily monosyllabic, gun-toting apes with a surprisingly acute command over an explicit vocabulary. Rapers may be, however. Secondly, rappers don’t have to be black. I’d like to address this whole subject. All throughout high school, I’ve been told to shut up and stop rapping. My own ‘friends’ would tell me to stop trying to be “black”. I even remember getting a Christmas card, saying:
“Adrian. Stop rapping!
Chinks don’t rap! And if they do, they suck at it! Merry Christmas!”
No. Anyone can rap; it’s a skill, not a colour. If I should stop rapping because I’m Chinese trying to take part of something black, then Tiger Woods should stop playing a white man’s game. And the white man can’t touch my damn abacus. You dig?
I know you didn’t mean nothing by it, Stephanie. I just wanted to get that off my chest. I think you’re funny too.
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